Tiger Woods

I have been waiting weeks to comment on this story.  I have been loving every second of it.  I can't get sick of it.  For someone who was built up to be superman to show some regular human flaws thoroughly pleases me.  The world only has the space for three supermans, Oswald Cobblepot, Victor Stagnetti and Sad Kermit.  The clincher for the Tiger Woods story was not the Tool Academy association, but that definitely added to it, it was the startling revelation that Rachel Uchitel was from my alma mater, the University of New Hampshire.  For the record, I already updated the UNH wikipedia page to add another famous accomplish alumni to the roster.  Tiger has finally reached the lucky number 7, [edit now 10] for alleged mistresses, which include adult film stars, pretty girls, not-so-pretty girls but no guys so far.  I would say at least 8 of them do not compare to his current wife as of the moment, though I have read that she has since moved out and is attempting to take custody of the children.  A hidden gem within this whole saga is the re-emergence of Ashley Dupre, of Client Number 9 fame.  As the Beatles once said, "Money can't buy me love" always rings true.

Thanksgiving Continued

The man carving the turkey above convinced me to get nostalgic and post some photos of the timeless Young Drive Family Thanksgiving Dinner.  Which involved many drunk phone calls to many mothers and grandmothers to figure out how to cook a turkey and every other part of the feast.  As they say, all the fixins were included.  I am very thankful Pilgrims landed here even with their Puritan ways. Also I am happy to report that I have well over 2000 hits on the site alrighty, keep up the good work.

Your fearless leader, ZEUS.

 

 

Now Presenting....

Here is the debut single from a new artist going by the stage name of "Ozzy Cobbles."  Ozzy has a long history of karaoke with large black women named Allegra while sipping on countless budweiser bottles.  You also may recognize this man from a previous post.  This recording is his spin on the Eminem classic, "We Made You."  Ozzy is hoping to release a EP to the masses by the end of the year.  Zeus gives him his approval and is excited to hear what is coming in the future.

Good Luck OZZY!

Vikings

A story I had on the agenda for a while now.  A few weeks ago, while I was at homecoming at my old stomping grounds in Durham, NH, I witnessed one of the strangest events.   As I was heading to tailgate at the football field, I looked inside the laundromat I used to do my laundry at every week.  Inside was the strangest scene, it was a bunch of people dressed up as Vikings.  Apparently, there was a Leif Erikson parade with 30 people in attendance.   But, here is the thing, they march from the landromat to the breakfast restaurant right next door, around a 15 foot difference.  (This stuff didn't happen when I went there, I think there was more focus on waking up for tailgating)  They chanted, "For noble deeds and daring done, we all salute Leif Erickson. Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah!"  This is apparently done a few days before Columbus Day to anger the Italians and show that the Vikings discovered America and the Scandavanians should get honored instead.  If starting a fight in Viking costumes is the way to go, I'm all for it.

Homecoming Recap

I know its Columbus day and a few of you have it off, but here at the Z Files, Zeus never takes breaks, now onto the homecoming recap. The morale level had been running pretty low the last few weeks, at approximately 1.5, but it took a shot of  HGH and moved to an 11 for two days and two days only.  UNH Homecoming : where spirits and BAC's run high.  Friday night, visited a few friends at their respective houses, even got the cops called on us.  Not for noise mind you, they said we were being too vulgur.  Then, I moved to my new favorite pub in Portsmouth, the Daniel Street Tavern. Look at the glowing reviews it has. How can you go wrong with a bar that has no liquor and $2.50 PBR pounders with karaokie? Woke up at 6:30am without an alarm in preparation for the annual 9am storm. We thought arriving in beautiful Dur ham at 8am for gates opening at 9am would be okay, not true, we still had to sit in a 2 mile line and wait a long long time. Once again, the #5 ranked UNH football team won, this time beating the #2 Villanova, and nobody made it in to the game. Tailgating is without question the highlight of the weekend every year, everyone of your friends from college is in the mudbowl having casual drinks. And this is a direct address to anybody who was negative at homecoming,and I know a few of you, luckily you were a very very small minority, don't go again ever. To repond to anybody that said we were too old for homecoming?  Did that town not get its socks rocked off, it just now takes a little longer to recover.  And to anybody that missed my dancing later in the night, Im sorry, it was a sight to behold, happily there is no photographical evidence that I have found so far.  Now, its Monday and back to real life aka sitting on couch and trying to think of ways to stay positive, happy that homecoming is only one weekend a year.

Homecoming

Its that time of year again!!!!! The annual UNH Homecoming event, where fellow alum from all across the United States pretend that they are still in college.  Fueled by alcohol and bad decisions, this always makes for a great weekend every year.  The main competition is how long can you stay standing after starting on the bottle at 8 or 9 in the morning, after being out til the wee hours in the morning, tailgating with all of your college friends.  The Zeus Slur (C) usually comes out around 11:30, so its usually a sight to behold anytime after that.  As usual, I'm going up there with no gameplans, except for the stay in Williamson or Christianson (freshman dorms).  Just as the doctor ordered there will be a stop at the Knot. Look at their delicious drink menu and prices. To address the grumblings that say we are too old, give me a break, its not about who is there now, its about who was there when you were there, its about being with the people you lived and slept with for 4 years and now see only once a year.  I am just worried about rain, potential snow flurries, and ice cold temperatures.  Already thought about bringing pancho villa to stop the rain.

Click to make larger so you can read it.

For good measure, just look at the intensity in Ryan Slo'Mahoney's eyes.

Also, if you like it or not, my football picks are coming later today.

Matt S***** : Victim of Violent Crime

The man featured in these archival photos, Matthew D S****** (name witheld by request legally) was the victim of an unprovoked act of aggression in the friendly confines of Foxwoods Resort & Casino.  While he was casually sitting and minding to a delicious budweiser, he was attacked by the unknown assailant with a 6" knife that penetrated his stomach.  He bleed all over the bar and lost close to a gallon of blood.  Taken away in an amublence to the hospital for emergency surgery. I hope this man gets better quick, so he can go back to the being the ugly clown he is.   Luckily the assaliant has been caught and is currently in a holding cell awaiting attempted murder charges.  The lesson to all you Z File followers out there: don't get stabbed.